Always Do Your Best

Back when I worked in the corporate world, I noticed something that wasn't very pleasant. You could do your job perfectly day in and day out, without any comment or feedback from your superiors or peers. But screw up once, and suddenly everyone noticed.

And it's the same way with writing. You may write a brilliant novel full of joy, pathos, philosophy, feeling, and adventure. But everyone's going to notice the one typo on page 347. (Which is why editing is so important.)

One thing I hate is picking up one of my published novels and finding an error such as a typo. I hate just a little less finding a sentence I could have written better.

That is why you need to always practice your craft. In everything you do, write it the best you can. Even if it's a Facebook update, write it well. I cringe when I see people who call themselves writers making stupid mistakes in Facebook posts or Twitter updates. How can you write a novel when you don't bother with the difference between "to" and "too"?

Now, I'm the typo king. So I have lots of people proofread my work, including myself (but I'm also a lousy proofreader because I see the word I think should be there).

We all want to write and write well. But if you let small mistakes slip by, it will undermine your credibility and, in some cases, simply make people reject your work. Perfection is impossible, but do your best. Always do your best. Even if you make a mistake, you know you did your best and you don't have to feel guilty about being lazy.

If you truly care about your craft, and your craft is writing, then do you best in all things you write. Write it well, make sure you use proper grammar and punctuation.

And please, remember the difference between "to" and "too."

Why is Proper Grammar Important?

I'm not exactly a grammar Nazi. But I do try to use proper grammar (especially in writing) and I do have some pet peeves about misusing words such as the misuse of "jealous" and confusing "bring" and "take." Almost nobody gets "like" and "such as" correct.

And don't get me started on the misuse of "hopefully."

Some people dismiss the need for good grammar (the very term "grammar Nazi" is not one of affection). Those folks are usually filling up Facebook with their unreadable posts about kittens.

I believe proper grammar, especially in writing, is very important. Why? Because you're not there to explain yourself when someone misunderstands. For example.

I to think its important too spell correctly.

There are four grammar errors in that sentence. But that is something you might read on Facebook or Twitter where grammar seems to be less and less adhered to. Is that first "to" a typo and the writer wished to say "I do think"? Is there something else they think is important so they put in "too" (and forgot the commas. And the possessive "its" makes little sense.

Here's the correct sentence:

I, too, think it's important to spell correctly.

Now the sentence is simple and easy to understand. And the key thing is, you don't have to think about it. You know the intention of the writer immediately. There's no need to decode their bad grammar.

And that is why proper grammar is important. It smooths the flow of communication. The writer's intent is more likely to be conveyed to the reader and done so immediately without the ready having to decode the meaning.

It also keeps you for avoiding mistakes such as this:

(I feel sorry for that dog.)

So, yes, I'm think proper grammar is important. But, even I make mistakes.

At least I try to be correct.

You Probably Use "Like" Incorrectly

You probably use "like" wrong.

When you say "I like ice cream" you use it correctly, of course.

But what's wrong with this sentence:

On my trip I went to cities like Chicago and New York.

What do you think that means? That on the trip they went to Chicago, New York, and somewhere else?

No, properly that is read as "On my trip, I went to cities similar to Chicago and New York, but didn't go to either of them."

The correct way to say "I went to Chicago and New York and other cities" is:

On my trip I went to cities such as Chicago and New York.

That means you went to Chicago, New York, and other similar places.

The rule here is, if you are listing similar but non-inclusive things, use "like."

For example: "Barack Obama had two terms in office like Reagan and Clinton."

If the list is inclusive, then use "such as."

And: "Some presidents serve two terms in office such as Obama, Reagan, and Clinton."

This is a bit confusing. But if you are comparing, use like. If you are listing similar things, use "such as."

Bot don't worry, nobody gets this right anymore.

Slow Kills

Last Monday I talked about driving fast and why I do drive fast.

Today I'm going to talk about why driving slow is dangerous. That is, slower than conditions require.

I am constantly amazed by people (usually in Subarus) going 10 - 15 mph under the speed limit on the interstate. I think that they believe they are being extra safe. Or maybe they are "hypermileing" (tying to get the best possible gas mileage). In either case, they are more dangerous than the person going 10 - 15 mph over the speed limit. Look at this chart:

(Note that "zero" is not the speed limit, but the average speed, which in many cases is over the speed limit.)

According to this data, going 10 mph under the average speed is more dangerous then going 20 mph over the average speed. Thus, despite the propaganda of the Safety Nazis: slow kills.

But the funny thing is, most states do not enforce going too slow, but will gladly write you a ticket for exceeding the speed limit.

As I said last week, I tend to drive 5 mph over the speed limit. In my heavily speed-enforced state that puts me just slightly above the average speed, it seems (I pass more cars than pass me). Which, according to the chart, is the safest place to be.

The safest speed to drive is not slow. It's not the speed limit, it's around the average speed of traffic. That means speed limits could actually be decreasing safety, not increasing it by being set too low.

Another way speed limits that are set too low decrease safety is they switch enforcement from those driving dangerously fast (or slow) to those exceeding some number a politician or bureaucrat came up with.

But, all too often, speed limits are set to maximize revenue, not safety. And all drivers pay the price.

Yes, I Drive Fast

George Carlin had a routine where he explained that there are two types of drivers on the road: idiots and maniacs. Idiots are anyone going slower than you, and manics are anyone going faster than you.

Well, on behalf of all maniacs, I'd like to explain myself.

I drive fast. Sometimes very fast but I pick and choose where I do that. I have driven on a racetrack (the essence of fast driving).

I usually drive 5 mph over the speed limit. This is slow enough most cops won't bother you. But, this puts me in the "maniac" range for the majority of other drivers, at least were I live.

I consider speed limits to be a random number chosen by some politician or bureaucrat not to maximize safety and convenience, but to maximize revenue. Most speeds limits are set about 10 - 15 mph too slow to maximize safety. How can that be?

Highways are most safe when cars are travaling similar speeds. It's the "speed variance" that is dangerous. Michigan studied a highway that had a 55 mph speed limit. The average speed on the road was 73 mph but some were driving slower than 55. That was a very high speed variance. They raised the speed limit to 70 mph and not only did the average speed drop to 72 mph, the speed variance dropped. The speed limit went up and the safety increased. But probably speeding ticket revenue from that road decreased.

To me, there's three types of speeding:
1) Exceeding the random number the government puts on the speed limit signs.
2) Blatantly ignoring the speed limit and driving as fast as conditions permit.
3) Driving too fast for conditions (i.e., driving stupidly fast). To me, people doing this are the maniacs.

I do #1 all the time (5 mph over the speed limit). I do #2 occasionally in select places where I consider it safe to do so (and there probably is a small possibility of having a cop around). I don't do #3 (which would be, for example, going 100 mph on the interstate when everyone else is doing 70).

But why do I drive fast?

For #1 type of speeding, it's because driving the speed limit is boring. I need faster input than that allows. For example, I was driving in Wyoming where the speed limit on the interstate was 75 mph. I was doing 80 (of course). But I'd been driving all day, it was late, and was getting tired. My ability to handle the input went down. So I slowed down to 75 (I eventually turned driving duties over to my son).

For #2 type of speeding, my only excuse is: it's fun. It's a blast to push a car's limits and the limits of your own skills. This is why I so loved driving on the racetrack. It's not about speed, but it's about control and skill. But it takes speed to test both.

I've done 155 mph on the racetrack. It was glorious.

Now, when I drive fast, I do it in a way that doesn't endanger me or other people. I'm not suicidal. But at 5 mph over the speed limit is often boring. But I bear with it because tickets are expensive.

But when I let loose (in a safe place to do so), it's the most fun I've had with my clothes on.

Want to Write? Better be a Pachyderm

Pachyderm (noun): any of various nonruminant mammals (as an elephant, a rhinoceros, or a hippopotamus) of a former group (Pachydermata) that have hooves or nails resembling hooves and usually thick skin.

So you want to be a writer. Then you'd better be a pachyderm. That is, have an "usually thick skin." Here's why:

What does a writer do? They create something. It's an labor of love. You pour your heart and soul and time and caffeine into it.

And then you put it out of the public to react to it and see what happens. And what might happen is someone hates it. Someone might give it a bad review.

Here's some comments from 2-star reviews I've had (so far I've had no 1-star reviews):

" . . .so much of the plot is poorly explained, or not explained at all. The grammer [sic] is poor and words are confusing , , ,leads me to believe the author is unfamiliar with a thesuarus [sic]."

" Lots of long exposition; technological details that didn't add to the story; heavy handed or stilted conversation by the protagonists; etc."

Or worse than a bad review: a rejection. Just this week I got a rejection email from a publisher I really wanted to work with. They were at first encouraging, saying the work made it past the initial review. But then, after having the novel for nearly 6 months, sent this:

" . . . we have decided to pass on publication at this time. We wish you the best of luck with your future works." (Which sucks more, a form letter or a form email?)

What is a writer to do?

You can have two reactions, I suppose: get upset and swear you're never going to write again, or learn from it, realize that different people have different tastes. If the criticism is constructive, learn from it.

Another example. I have a novel I'm working on. I've had three people from my writers' group beta read it. And I've gone through two of the beta's so far and while they didn't hate the novel, they had huge problems with one character and minor problems with others. So I'm giving my characters a good long look. And I'm about to start the third beta and see what that person has to say.

How do you grow to be a pachyderm? Confidence in your own abilities help. The other is to realize most criticism is sincere and not an attach on you (although in that first 2-star review quoted above, I'm not sure the person just didn't like me personally for some reason). Grow and learn and use the feedback to improve your art. And don't take it personally.

Be a pachyderm.

If this Watch Could Talk

Last July my wife bought me a new watch for my birthday.

But, in a bittersweet moment, I had to give up my old watch that I'd had for at least ten years. The watch was given to me as a promotional deal with Volvo (which is why the watch says Volvo). It was the most accurate watch I'd ever owned, gaining only around 20 seconds a month.

Yesterday I started thinking about everything I'd done with this watch.

This watch snorkeled in the Caribbean, off the Na Pali coast of Hawaii, and in the Sea of Cortez.

This watch went to the mountains of Ecuador, the beaches of Peru, and the wine country of Chile.

This watch went 155 mph on a racetrack (and maybe faster elsewhere but I'll plead the 5th if asked about that).

The watch went on Cub Scout and Boy Scout field trips. It played in the surf at Cocoa Beach, FL. This watch timed experiments at my old day job.

It's amazing how we can attach memories to objects. And when the objects are gone, all we have left are the memories.

How to Moderate a Con Panel

Two weekends ago I attended RadCon as a visiting professional (i.e., a writer). I was on four panels and had to moderate two. I was warned beforehand that one people on one of the panels was long-winded and hard to keep from dominating the discussion. So I came up with a plan. This is one way to moderate a con panel (probably not the only way):

1) I wrote six questions (I had help from fellow members of my writing group).

2) I set the alert on my countdown time to the most annoying sound I could find.

3) When the panel started, I explained that would ask a question and then start the timer for seven minutes. At the end of the seven minutes, we would go on to the next question. I chose seven minutes because 7 x 6 = 42 and that would leave me 18 minutes for introductions and questions at the end (some of the panel members were so long-winded in their introductions I wanted a time then, too).

4) I would ask the question and hit the timer.  When the timer went off, I would let the person finish their thought and then move on to the next question.

This seemed to work very well, although the long-winded person got annoyed at being interrupted by the timer, it did keep her from dominating the panel. There was time for questions at the end and one of the audience members approached me to say she thought my method worked very well.

It actually worked better on the panel with the long-winded person than the other panel. On the other panel they would cover about three of my questions in the first seven minutes. So I decided to let them talk longer and would pause the timer until I decided we'd beat that subject to death.

If I'm asked to moderate a panel again at a con, I will probably use this method again. It keeps the discussion moving and not stuck on one subject for too long.

How I got 10,000 More Twitter Followers (without spending a dime)

I have over 12,000 twitter followers. How? Did I "buy" followers?

Nope, I didn't spend a cent on getting followers. What I spent was time.

On December 28, 2013 I had 2,341 followers. On December 27, 2014 I had 11,780 for an increase of 9,439 followers or nearly 10,000 more. That's an average of 26 new followers per day. Which doesn't sound like a lot but it adds up.

Here's how you can get 10,000 more Twitter followers the way I did.

Go to justunfollow.com and sign in with Twitter. Turn off all automatic tweets it wants to send on your behalf (including auto-DMs). It was seeing these automatic tweets and DMs that kept me away from that site for months, but when I found out I could turn them off, I started using the site.

I'm not endorsing justunfollowme.com, there may be better sites out there. It's just what I used.

The first thing you'll see when you get there is a list of tweeters who you follow who don't follow you back. You can, with a free account, unfollow 25 once every 24 hours. If you allow the website to tweet that you are doing that, it's 50. I did that once and got 50 from then on. I don't know if I got lucky or if that's how it's supposed to work. You simply push the blue "Tweet" button to tweet it:

But you don't want to unfollow, not just yet. First you want to follow as many tweeters as the site allows (again, default is 25, if you tweet, 50).

Click on "Keyword Follow (Grow)" in the left had menu. Now, put in a hashtag that fits your genre(s). I used #urbanfantasy, #scifi, and #sciencefiction. Follow most everyone who uses those hastags. You can also use #amwritng and #amreading. Don't follow people with a huge mount of followers but hardly following anyone else because they are very unlikely to follow you.

(I tried #UF for urban fantasy but got a lot of people talking about the University of Florida. I tried #fantasy but got all sorts of things, including people looking for casual sex.)

Follow 25 or 50 tweeters (as many as the site will let you).

Then, sorting by "oldest first" (the default) unfollow 25 or 50 tweeters who don't follow you.

Do this every day (you can do 25 or 50 once every 24 hours) or at least every day you can.

Eventually you'll get down to 100 people who aren't following you back that you follow. When that happened I changed tactics slightly. I still followed 50 people but I only unfollowed until I had 100 (exactly) non-followers. I didn't unfollow anyone who hadn't tweeted since I last had done a batch of following (usually a day) unless they hadn't tweeted for 12 weeks figuring they were inactive at that point. This way, the people I just followed wouldn't be unfollowed because there were at the bottom of the list. Don't update the list or you it'll add in the 50 (or 25) you just followed.

Do this every day or nearly everyday for a year and you should gain around 10,000 followers. After I hit 10,000 I stopped doing this because I apparently hit some critical mass and I get quite a few followers every day (over 25, usually). I follow back the ones that have to do with writing/editing etc. I don't follow ones who are obviously bots.

Was it worth it? I don't know. I do get a heck of a lot of re-tweets (but how many of those are automatic, I don't know but I bet a lot).

But that's how I got 10,000 Twitter followers in just over a year.

Mental Illness is not a Weakness nor a Character Flaw

Depression, Bipolar, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, ADHD/ADD (and many more I didn't name)

These are not character flaws. They are not "all in your head." These are diseases as real as cancer or diabetes.

No, you can't just think your way out of depression. Slight, situational, depression, yes (to a point). Your girlfriend broke up with you, you're sad.  That is not what we are talking about. We are talking about chronic depression where no mater what happens, you feel sad. I called it the "floating cloud syndrome." No matter what, I had a dark cloud hanging over me.  I could fake being happy for short periods. I could function (I was lucky). But every day I felt very sad. And it was worse in winter.

It's not a character flaw. It's brain chemistry.

"But aren't you dependent on a drug?" they ask when they learn you're on anti-depressants or another drug for your mental illness. "Yes," I say, "just like the diabetic is dependent on insulin, or the person with his cholesterol is dependent on a Lipitor." (In my case, it's three drugs since lithium turned me into a zombie so I take a cocktail of drugs to control my bipolar.)

Do I still get depressed? A bit. Technically I'm type-2 bipolar with dysthymia. This means I'm depressed most of the time, with occasional flashes of mania. Sometimes the mania is fun. Most of the times it's not (I'm an angry manic). Without the meds, the swings were wild: low lows, high highs. Now they are muted. Now they are less common. But I still have depressed days and manic moments. They are just not destructive to my life.

So don't tell a depressed person to "get over it." Don't tell someone with bipolar "it's all in your head." (Well, of course it is, where would it be, my kidneys?) The person with a mental illness wants to be treated like everyone else, with perhaps a bit of consideration for their condition when it flairs up and overwhelms the drugs (it happens).

(Yes, I know ADHD and ADD are controversial and yes, I think kids are way over-diagnosed with this because it's easier for schools to put them on drugs than to deal with a bit of rebellion or rambunctiousness. But the ADD drugs I'm on have done wonders for me. I can concentrate on something a lot better and my brain doesn't take off 60 different directions at once. Meetings use to be hell because my brain would run around everywhere and refuse to stay in the meeting. But I'm an adult and I'm not being drugged for the benefit of overwhelmed educators.)

The Eight Stages of Freelance Writing

I've been working as a freelance writer for about three years now.  And I 've noticed a pattern to all freelance assignments. I call it the "Eight Stages of Freelance Writing."

Stage One Panic: you get the assignment and your first thought is "how do I do this?" I have to call people I don't know and ask for their time and consideration. I have to make a coherent story out of what they tell me (and there may be more than one). I can't do this!

Stage Two Stress: you can't get a hold of the people you need to talk to. Your deadline is looming (even though it might be two weeks away) but every day you can't get a hold of the people you need to adds more and more stress. "Why don't they answer their phone or return my calls?" (This stage doesn't always happen, sometimes they answer on the first call.)

Stage Three Planning: you've got the appointment made to talk, now you plan your questions and plan how to get to them and plan what time to leave so you get there early (always get there early). This is still stressful but not nearly as stressful as Stage Two.

Stage Four Panic: you've done the interview and you're getting ready to write the story. But how do you turn your pages of scribbled notes into a coherent, interesting to read story? What do you use to "hook" the reader? How do you get this past your editor who knows you're a fraud?

Stage Five Work: you write the story, it takes hours and you flip back and forth through your notes to make sure you include every important or interesting point.  You're too busy now for panic or stress, it's just work, but it's work you love.

Stage Six Confidence: It's done, it's proofread, and it's good (you think). You feel good about your accomplishment.

Stage Seven Panic: you send it in to the editor and don't hear anything back. You think they must have hated it and will never hire you again.

Stage Eight Satisfaction: the editor publishes the story and you get a check. You're happy, satisfied, and looking forward to the next assignment so you can return to Stage One (which you've completely forgotten about, now).

You'll notice there are three panic stages. Yes, I spend a lot of time in panic and stress. But when you see your byline it's so satisfying. And the money helps, too.

Charlie Hebdo, Sharia Law, and the Right to Be Offensive.

Three gunman killed twelve writers in Paris last Tuesday. The writers, who worked at the satirical magazine, Charlie Hebdo, were likely targeted because the magazine had published a cartoon of Mohammad. As the BBC reported:

The satirical weekly has courted controversy in the past with its irreverent take on news and current affairs. It was firebombed in November 2011 a day after it carried a caricature of the Prophet Muhammad.

If you're a writer, you have to take notice. This attack is an assault on freedom of speech and your creative liberty. It is an attempt to dissuade anyone from violating Sharia Law's prohibition of making images of Mohammad.

Don't think this could affect you?  U.S. cartoonist Molly Norris of Seattle, Washington, had to go into hiding after suggesting that there be a "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" in response to censorship that itself was in response to death threats over a depiction of Mohammed.

In my novel, Rock Killer, some of the villains are Muslims. While they are more interested in political power than religious purity, if some splinter group of Muslims armed with AK-47s took offense, I might have to go into hiding. (I'm not very worried about this, to be honest.)

As artists and writers, we need to maintain our creative freedom and fight for our right to say what we want without fear of reprisal from terrorists or governments (I'm looking at you, Canada). Of course, what Canada does is not along the lines of what happened in Paris, but it comes from the same mindset of "You offended me, you must pay!"

Do I think you should post a cartoon of Mohammad? No. But you should not let this cow you into worrying about offending anyone with your writing. We can not back down even in the face of this evil.

But more than that, we must maintain our right to offend others. If we cannot offend anyone, we cannot do our craft. Someone, somewhere is likely to be offended by pretty much anything. No one has the right to demand not to be offended no matter if what offends them is a cross on a hill or the existence of hard core pornography.

And, because you never know who might come to power and decide what you write is "too offensive," you don't want government taking action to keep some from being offended (yes, Canada, I mean you). "What, you write about recovery from sexual abuse? That offends me!" And believe me, almost everything you write is likely to offend someone (this blog post might offend a few).

We can not let what happened in Paris stop us from writing what we want. We can not let the government or any organization stop us from writing what we want. Does that mean there will be stuff out there that offends us? Yes. But it is better to suffer that than have someone else decide if what we write is too offensive to be in print or on the web.

Are You Jealous or Envious?

So someone posts on Facebook "Hey, I'm going to Cabo!" and what does nearly everyone else comment? "Jealous!"

Yeah, that's so wrong.

Jealousy is when you are afraid of losing something. You are jealous your wife is flirting with another man. You jealously guard your Star Wars figures collection.

But you are envious when you want or desire some thing someone else has. You are envious of their trip to Cabo. You envy you're neighbor's wife (which is why he's jealous). You envy the talent of that guy in your writers' group.

Another word for "envy" is the old Biblical concept of "covet." "Do not covet thy neighbor's wife or donkey." (Believe me, I'll never covet my neighbor's donkey.)

If someone has it and you want it, that's envy.

If you're worried about losing something of yours, that's jealousy.

Don't confuse them.

Writer New Year Resolutions

It's that time of year again when people make resolutions to change some part of their life for the better.

Here are some "writer resolutions" I suggest (and some I need to make).

1) Make time to write: Yes, we all have busy lives and many of us have day jobs. If you write "when I find the time" you'll never write. Make time to write. Get up an hour earlier. Forgo an hour of television a day. But do what it takes to make time to write. You want to be a writer, then you need to write!

2) Just keep Writing: Yes, I say this a lot but because I think it needs repeating. We all go through the "this-is-crap" crisis (me, usually about 50,000 words in). But I also say "Your first draft is going to suck, get over it write the damn thing." Just keep writing and fix it in edits.

3) Edit (more): A writer almost can't do too much editing. As I said before, you're first draft is going to be crap. Editing is how you polish crap into a diamond. I try to wait a month and hope I have another work in progress going before I start to edit. The longer you wait the more likely you will see not only glaring errors and bad writing, but subtle errors and sub-par writing that could be improved. I edit twice myself (with at least one week between), then I have it proofread. Then I have my wife read it to me. Then I send it to beta readers. Then I edit it again. Then I submit it.

4) Be more Social: Yes, we are all introverts who would rather spend time with our characters (or someone else's characters) than face people live and in person. But every success I've had as a writer came through networking (i.e., talking to people). Join a writers' group. At the very least see if you can connect with writers through social media. You're going to need beta readers, for one thing. Other writers can help you when you're stuck with a plot problem or encourage you to finish that NaNoWriMo novel.

5) Write Well: In everything you write: Facebook posts, Tweets, emails, letters to Santa, do your best to write it well and with few mistakes. I'm amazed when I see writers on social media use "to" instead of "too." Always always always practice your craft, no mater what you are writing.

That should get you started on the upcoming new year. Well, that and losing weight and cutting out junk food.

Once More Into the Breech (or Breach?).

Some words are just confusing as all get out. Like "breech" and "breach." Both are pronounced the same, spelled nearly the same, but have completely different meanings. When I wrote my NaNoWriMo novel, I used the wrong one every time. (Of course, it was a first draft in need of revision.)

So here's the low down on "breech" and "breach":

Breech means the back of something. The breech of a gun. Most modern firearms are "breech loaded" (as opposed to muzzle loaded). A baby coming out bottom-first is a "breech baby." You wear "breeches" because they cover your ass.

Breach means a break or fissure. You breach your contract. The torpedo breached the hull of the battleship. To kiss the queen was a breach in protocol. And whales jumping into the air are "breaching" (perhaps because they breach the surface of the ocean?).

Oh, and the Shakespeare quote from Henry V: "Once more into the breach."

How to remember which is which. This is easy. "Breach" has the same five first letters a "break" which is one of its meaning. And "breech" has two e's so you'd say "eeee" if you saw someone's breech.

So don't breach good spelling rules and come out looking like a breech.

Bring and Take: Use them Correctly

Nearly everyone I know, including my wife, uses "bring" incorrectly, using it when she should use "take. For example, she will ask one of my sons to "Bring the dishes into the kitchen" when they are both in the dining room. This drives me bonkers.

I have thought for years how to explain the difference to her (and everyone else) and finally realized that it has to do with "come" and "go." And that made it simple (not that it changed my wife's error).

If you can add "go" to the sentence, use "take." As in "Go into the kitchen and take the dishes."

If you can add "come" to the sentence, use "bring." That would be "Come into the kitchen and bring the dishes."

Because you wouldn't say "go into the kitchen" when you are standing in the kitchen, you would say "come" And you wouldn't say "come into the kitchen" when you are in the dining room, you would say "go."

There are some special cases with bring and take which probably cause all the confusion. But, still, the "come and go rule" works. One might say "Come into the kitchen with me and bring the dishes." This is correct even if you are in the dining room.

Or, you might say "I'll bring the dishes when I come into the kitchen" again while in the dining room. But in both cases, you are saying "come" so "bring" is the correct verb.

Remember, if you can put the word "go" in the sentence, use "take." If you can put the word "come" in the sentence, put the word "bring."

I and Me, which is correct?

Pretty much everyone knows when you are talking about yourself and you are the subject of the sentence, you say "I" as in "I went to town."

"Me went to town" is something a 3-year-old would say.

Although lots of people who should know better say "Me and Joe went to town" when, of course, it should be "Joe and I . . ."  ("Me and Joe" always sounds like "Mean Joe" so I respond with "How mean is Joe?")

And, "Joe and me" is also wrong because you use "I" when you are the subject and "me" when you are the object. And the other person always comes first (I know, not fair).

But what about the end of sentences? When do you use "I" and when do you use "me"? This confuses a lot of people.

Well, it depends. If you are the object of the sentence, use "me": "Joe gave the ball to me."

However, if you are comparing yourself to something, use I: "Joe is taller than I."

Some people get this mixed up, thinking "I" is correct in all circumstances and say "Joe gave the ball to I" which makes me want to pull out what's left of my hair.

To figure out if you should use "I," add "am" (i.e., a verb).  "Joe is taller than I am" is correct. And you can just drop the "am." I hope you wouldn't say "Joe is taller than me am."

But you wouldn't say "Joe gave the ball to I am." So you use "me" in that case.

The easy rule is, if you can add "am" (or "was") and the sentence still makes sense, use "I". If you can't add "am," use "me."

And, on a related note, you don't say "Joe is taller than him" because "Joe is taller than him is" is wrong. You say "Joe is taller than he."

Why I Love/Hate NaNoWriMo

November is over.

That means NaNoWriMo is over and if you haven't written your 50,000 words (at least) you haven't won.

NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) is an annual self-flagellation that some writers put themselves through, including me the past two years. And this year I won. I managed to write 63,388 words on a novel called (now) Treasure of the Pirate Planet. I did it in 25 days for an average daily word count of 2,536. My biggest day was the second to the last when I did 3,666 words.

I do NaNoWriMo for two reasons. One is the same reason soldiers will stay in a foxhole as artillery shells are landing around them. I don't want to let down my buddies. My local writers' group is very much into NaNoWriMo and they want to have a good word-count at the end for the region. So I participate in order to help raise that word-count.

The other reason is that it focuses the mind so that, yes, you do often put out a manuscript (first draft) in less than 30 days, or at least make good progress toward it (50,000 words is a very short book). It fits with my mantas "Just Keep Writing" and "Your first draft will suck, get over it and write the damn thing."

But the problem I have with NaNoWriMo is that a lot of begining writers don't realize that what you are writing in November is a first daft.  It needs to be edited, proofread, edited some more, revised, beta read, revised, edited, and then maybe then it's ready to be published or submitted.

For example, I didn't think my NaNoWriMo novel from last year, Treasure of the Black Hole, was ready to be submitted to a publisher until June of this year. And I probably won't submit this years novel (a sequel to last year's) until May or June (depending on how fast people get betas back to me).

But I think too many beginning writers think, "Oh, I've written a book, let's put on on Kindle in time for Christmas." And that really annoys me because it gives indie authors a bad name when people publish bad first drafts.

I do like that this year, NaNoWriMo has a "badge" you can earn by promising to revise your novel. I'm hoping that will give more participants the clue that they do have to revise their novels. Sure, you can whip out that first draft in a month. But now you have months of work to do to finish it.

The Mystery of the Semicolon.

Once upon a time there was a poor, misunderstood punctuation mark: the semicolon. Not quite a colon, not quite a comma, the deprived little mark lived a life of obscurity and incorrect usage.

But it doesn't have to be that way; even you can learn to use the semicolon correctly. Because for about 99% of the time you'll use it, it's very easy.

A semicolon separates two complete sentences that are closely related. The key word there is "complete." If you can't put a period in place of the semicolon, you are using it incorrectly. For example:

CORRECT:
"It look like it's going to snow; I think I'll put my snow tires on."

INCORRECT:
"It looks like it's going to snow; snow tire time."

(As you can see, "snow tire time" is not a complete sentence. In that case I would put either a colon (:) or an emdash.)

We could write the first sentence as two sentences: "It look like it's going to snow. I think I'll put my snow tires on." So that means using a semicolon is correct, assuming the sentences are related. For example:

CORRECT:
"There's a great movie on TV tonight; it looks like a good night to stay home."

INCORRECT:
"There's a great movie on TV tonight; my house is blue."

In the second case, the sentences are not closely related so a semicolon would not be appropriate. Now there are no hard-and-fast rules on what is closely related so use your best judgement. Usually, if the second sentence completes the thought, that's the time to use the semicolon.

Also note, after the semicolon you do not capitalize the first word as you would if they were two separate sentences (unless you would capitalize it anyway as proper noun or pronoun).

There is one other use for the semicolon and it has to do with long lists in one sentence. But as a fiction writer you are unlikely to run across that need.

And with just a little care, you too can help the little semicolon out of obscurity and use it correctly.

Yes, Beta Readers are Important

So, you've written the great American novel. You've pounded out that first draft, you edited (and edited and edited). You might even have paid for a professional edit or proofread. So, now you think it's ready to send to a publisher (or to indie publish).

Now hold on a minute there, pardner. You're not quite ready yet. You need "beta readers."

Like "beta testing" software (having users try it out before releasing it to see if there's major problems with it), beta readers read your novel before you publish it.  While they can be an extra set of eyes for typos for proofreading, their primary function is to make the writing better.

Beta readers can point out inconsistencies in plot or characterization. "I really don't think a nun would become a streetwalker to raise money for Mother Superior's operation."

Beta readers will show you were you've used clumsy prose or, as often in my case, passive voice. Beta readers will make your work better.

Beta readers will have different knowledge and experience than you. They may know that a ".45 automatic" isn't necessarily a M1911, for example.

And the best part is, you get to decide what advice to take and what to keep.

It's always good to have more eyes on your novel before publication. They will see things you won't because you're too close to it. Maybe you'll have to beef up a plot point that they didn't understand. Or maybe they'll think you're being redundant. Or maybe they'll smack you for poor apostrophe usage. You never know and you should get as many beta readers as you can.

How do you find beta readers. Your writers' group is a great source. Or social media such as Facebook and Twitter (I found one beta reader on Twitter just by tweeting that I needed beta readers).

Before you publish or submit that masterwork of writing, have someone else look at it. You'll be amazed how useful beta readers are.

UPDATE: This was supposed to be my Monday Blog for the 22nd, but I was sick and didn't send out the tweets. So now it's my Monday Blog for the 29th.