Getting in Trouble

One of the things I hated most as a child (and into adulthood) was getting in trouble. I was always afraid someone would yell at me for being wrong. For years, this meant I wouldn't do things if I thought there was the slightest chance of getting yelled at for it. I would simply refuse. This did not go over well when I worked in the corporate world. So I worked hard to overcome that. But I still have that issue.

For instance, I would not pull up to the front door of a hotel to check in and unload luggage for fear someone would get mad at me. Now I do it anyway (but it's a struggle every time). And, guess what, no one has ever gotten mad at me.

Part of this is also my fear of screwing up. If I don't know for sure how to do something, and don't think I can figure it out, I will just shut down and not do it. My middle son does the exact same thing. I guess he got my genes.

All of this is part of why I think I might be on the Autism spectrum, admittedly not far on it. But when I look at my childhood, I think I might be further along the spectrum than I think, I'm just faking it well as an adult.

And I still hate getting in trouble. People who don't care if they get in trouble amaze me. I kind of wish I could be like them, but a lot of them are criminals and psychos.

It's also part of my over-active imagination. I can always imagine the worst case scenario.

How do you feel about getting in trouble? Let me know in the comments below.